So, I have tried testing the cables as Dennis suggested, and I don't
think they are straight through. To make sure, though, I will try
to diagram it. They are labeled Male and female.
Male
Female
*1*2*3*4*5
*5*4*3*2*1
*6*7*8*9
*9*8*7*6
Thus I shall try to find a straight through cable. I tried the hard
reset, but it was through the old cable, so that same thing might be
the problem. I will be SO annoyed if the cable is the issue, working
this hard because someone bought the wrong cord.....

. I will look at the KC's Vi and the other posts when I have time later in the day, or week, orwhatever.
Thank you all, you may have saved me.
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I've got a sneaking suspicion that Jesus might have been made of bread. Why else did they have to put him in a warm cave and wait three days for him to rise?
Damnant quadnon intelligunt - They condemn what they do not understand.