Programming Joke

[Grugh_Mike]

Make a note of this one:

Teacher: Write a C program to prevent TITANIC from sinking..

Student: Declare the variable TITANIC as float…!

OMG !!!!

[Yamaeda]

Const float Titanic;

/Y

[EvenDeejay]

[SChance]

ahaha

Oh my goodness.

I love the joke and all your responses.

They made my morning! 😄

[Grugh_Mike]

Todays one:

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air.  His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack?  Smoking is hazardous to your health!” To which the man replies,

“I am a programmer.  We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”

[JKaufman87]

So.freaking.true!

I love them!

I wish I knew some of my own. 😛

Instead, I will just creep this threat and remember them for later!

xD

[Grugh_Mike]

This one's awesome:

Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge. 

They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the

competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. 

He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out." 

"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better." 

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished. 

He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?" 

God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves." 

[altenbach]

I guess this one originated before the autorecovery feature. 😉

BTW, what is "...lines of code..."? 😮

[Cory_K]

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@altenbach wrote:

I guess this one originated before the autorecovery feature. 😉

BTW, what is "...lines of code..."? 😮

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I guess this one originated before LabVIEW back when prodigal programming contests were still done in Fortran

[Grugh_Mike]

Today's one: 

A programmer and his wife are doing some shopping 

Programmer's wife asks him to wait for her near a shop and watch their 10 paper bags.
She comes back in some time and sees her programmer husband is counting bags.
W: "What a hell are you doing?"
P: "Uhmm, am counting bags, you said 10, but there are just 9 of them"
W: "Are you sure?"

P: "Yeah, I counted them many times. See 0,1,2 .., 9. That's all, where the heck is the 10th?!?!"