How to become a bad labview developer - According to ChatGPT

[Tmajeed367]

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💀 How to Become Bad at LabVIEW

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1. Use Only Flat Sequence Structures

Because nothing says "professional" like a 3-screen-wide sequence with 50 frames and no comments.

• Completely ignore state machines, events, or QMH.

• Use "Frame 32" to control logic instead of meaningful state names.

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2. Spaghetti Wires Everywhere

Why route wires cleanly when you can just cross them 100 times?

• Don’t label wires.

• Cross wires over front panel terminals and structures.

• Use random colors for signal wires to make it "artistic".

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3. Never Use Typedefs

Just create 17 copies of that enum and update them individually.

• Bonus points for different ordering of the same enum in different VIs.

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4. Global Variables for EVERYTHING

Who needs data flow when you can have data chaos?

• Use global variables to pass data between states, loops, even parallel VIs.

• Watch your code randomly break when race conditions occur!

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5. Write One Giant VI

1000x1000 pixels. One VI. One love.

• Don’t modularize.

• Put all logic in one huge block diagram.

• Nest structures 10 levels deep.

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6. No Error Handling

Just wire errors into a constant and move on. YOLO.

• Errors are suggestions, right?

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7. Poll Everything in a Tight Loop

Efficiency? Never heard of it.

• Check every button and sensor every millisecond, in a greedy polling loop.

• Who needs event structures or timing?

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8. Don't Use Documentation

Comments are for the weak.

• Use cryptic abbreviations like xxRTCB_Ctrl.vim with no explanation.

• Bonus: Delete all front panel labels and captions.

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9. Ignore LabVIEW Style Guides

Standards stifle creativity!

• Use different styles in every VI.

• Mix camelCase, snake_case, and CAPSLOCK.

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10. Save Everything on Desktop, No Version Control

If you lose your code, that’s fate.

• No Git, no SCC, no backups. Overwrite previous versions with "final2.vi", "reallyFinal.vi", "NEWfinal(3).vi".

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11. Hardcode Everything

Make sure every path, value, and constant is typed manually. Preferably in multiple places.

• Forget INI files or config clusters.

• Want to change the baud rate? Go find it buried in 12 different places.

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12. Ignore User Events, Producer-Consumer, or Queued Message Handlers

Use one loop. One big loop. Forever.

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🎯 Result:

Your boss cries. Your co-workers quit. LabVIEW crashes. NI sends a representative to ask what you've done. 🤣

[paul_a_cardinale]

Other possible result: The hacker gets the code limping along; and the boss, never looking under the hood, thinks it's a job well done.

[RTSLVU]

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@paul_a_cardinale wrote:

Other possible result: The hacker gets the code limping along; and the boss, never looking under the hood, thinks it's a job well done.

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Sad to say this is what happens most often. Early in my career I was handed some LabVIEW code that was heralded as one of R&D's greatest achievements and told to modify it for the V&V lab. The code was one big loop (OBL) full of locals and flat sequences. To read it you had to follow the Error Cluster squiggling around the block diagram like following a treasure map. (facepalm)

I put my foot down and flat out refused. Then wrote a better more modular program that fit our lab's needs from scratch in less time that I estimated it would have taken to fix that code. 

[ThomasHenkel]

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@RTSLVU wrote:
To read it you had to follow the Error Cluster squiggling around the block diagram like following a treasure map. (facepalm)

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At least he had an error line, you can give him that 😄

[Yamaeda]

Spot on! Except the singular VI should be at least 10k x 10k!